Leaving Home/Returning Home...

Returning home to NC late Friday night leaves me with conflicting emotions.  I leave a country (Ukraine) that I have grown fond of, along with the hospitality that was shown me during my stay.  I have appreciated the different lifestyle, culture, and way of life. Even though I could barely communicate at times, it has left a lasting impression on me.  I have had a chance to see the small towns and the big cities, experience life on a different scale, and visit my Russian family.

We had the chance to see history through a 2500 year old fortress in Bilhorod - Dnistrovskyi,  a old monastery in Kiev, and a local hospital (unfortunately) in Druzhkovka. We experienced hospitality through Diana's sister Alla and her husband as they treated us to a nice evening in Donetsk at a huge mall that was top notch.  This mall would rival most stores in the US with many top name brand stores (Adidas, Reebok, Benneton, Polo, etc...), huge skating rink, movie theater, and a large section with multiple fair-type rides (which we took advantage of). We also enjoyed a nice show that was part Cirque du Soleil and dolphin show.

Before our trip to visit relatives, I felt blessed that we had found a Baptist church less than a half mile away from the orphanage that was willing to help us find a place to stay (if we needed it on our return from our visit to Druzhkovka)

When we went to Druzhkovka, I will forever appreciate how well I was received by my young nieces and nephews. My 10 year old and 7 year old nieces (Yana/Alina) seemed to enjoy having me there and allowed me to be a part of their activities.  I enjoyed the opportunity and appreciated that Yana asked for my help with her English  reading lessons. We all eventually were able to communicate (somewhat) through the use of Google translate, although it sometimes mangled the translations.  We had a fun time trying to pronounce words in each other's language and had a good laugh at times at the results.

As for the hospital visit, I felt I was treated extremely well and felt a bit like a VIP when I was given the best room in the hospital.  Although I was really nobody important, it was interesting to hear their reactions and interest that I as an American, was in their small little hospital.


When we returned to Bilhorod, we were able to stay in the home of the mother (and husband) of Diana's sister-in-law.  We were encouraged to stay there and were  treated so hospitably during our time there.  We were fed quite well and enjoyed the time just talking over tea.  Although I didn't understand the conversations, Diana was able to translate.  They were a fun couple and the husband was full of fun and jokes.  At times, it seems that is missing in our busy lives and culture where we often do not have time to sit down with friends to talk and socialize.

On the last day I was there, we went to a huge open air market with hundreds and hundreds of vendors in small stalls selling everything from food to clothing to electronics.  We had an opportunity to eat in a little small cafe, that although wasn't that much to look at, still had some charm to it.  I only wish I had more time to explore the market, but we had to purchase some cookies and a small gift for our daughter who was to turn 11 on Saturday (Oct 27th).  I had wanted to stay until Saturday to be with her on her birthday, but it was not going to work out for me to be able to do that.

I am not sure how to explain it, but preparing to leave to come back to my own homeland seemed as if I was leaving my home and returning to a new home.   Seeing all the children and their smiling faces in the orphanage cannot help but change you and your outlook and what really is important.  Seeing our children on day 1 of the visit and seeing them really for the first time and feeling your heart skip a beat was a priceless moment to treasure. All of these events seemed to embrace me and I gladly embraced the country and the people in return.

When I eventually reached my home on Friday, the 26th at midnight, it was the culmination of trying to arrange a flight just 9 hours earlier and being up 27 hours straight from the time I woke up at 4:15 am Ukraine time, until I reached home.  It was good to be home, but also felt homesickness for my other home.

Sidelined in Druzhkovka!

You never appreciate what you have until it is gone.  That sentiment is never more appropriate than being in another country when you consider the things you take for granted in America. 

 We take for granted the 24/7 availability of water, but in the city of Bilhorod, water is limited from approximately 6 am - 11 am and from 6 pm until about 10 pm.  The same is true of our current location of Druzhkovka.  Our relatives here have water all of the time, but the same may not be true for those living just a few miles away.   We all have indoor plumbing in the US, but there are still many places here that do not.  Even in the matter of drinking water, it is best if you buy bottled water and avoid drinking water from the tap.

To make the matter more personal, you don't fully appreciate the true advantages of our health care system than when you truly need it far away from home.  This past Monday afternoon, I was able to appreciate the differences first hand.  After experiencing some severe constipation, I developed an extreme pain in my left side that refused to go away.  My first thought was appendicitis, but I was reminded that the appendix is on the right side.  We had considered driving to Donetsk, a larger city 75 minutes away, but I am not sure I could have handled a longer trip.  We ended up going to the local facility and as soon as we got in the car, the pain seemed to calm down quite a bit.  However, after we pulled in to the hospital, the pain again became unbearable.  We waited about 10-15 minutes for a doctor to see me, but with the diagnosis of a kidney stone, it seemed like an eternity.

Now, when you think of hospitals, you think of modern facilities with the latest technology.  In this city, you might totally miss the hospital, even if you drove right by it.  The facility itself seems as if it  had not been upgraded in probably 40-50 years.  The check in location was a cold, cramped, and dank room only large enough for two workers.  The toilet facilities were not much better than a gas station restroom.  The people, however, were top notch, given what they had available to work with.  Many of them were fascinated that I was the first American to visit their hospital and remarked that they wouldn't be surprised if the visit made the local newspaper.  A couple of workers wanted to ask Diana about life in America.

 I didn't realize it at the time, but they gave me the best room in the hospital.  There were 2 wooden beds in the room with a mattress similar to ones found in the states.  Unremarkable at first until you notice other rooms had 4 metal beds/cots, with mattresses maybe a 1/3 of the same size.  One of the other things is that the hospital does not supply the medications.  You have to go out and purchase the drugs needed to treat you.  So, Monday afternoon, they gave me an IV, several shots, and I rested in the hospital until Diana and her sister came to pick me up around 6 pm.  I had to come back the next morning for the 2nd IV treatment that would hopefully reduce the size of any remaining stones.

I feel fortunate and blessed that I have not had a re-occurrence since, but I will definitely will want to follow up when I return home.  It is also a good thing that it didn't happen on the flight over here, the trip from Kiev to Bilhorod or on the 15 hour train trip from Bilhorod to Druzhkovka where I would have been unable to get medical treatment easily.

Traveling and Additional Thoughts

Thursday morning we completed the last of the necessary signatures and approvals.  We had to get some final documents notarized and then we met with the Vice Mayor and she briefly interviewed us about the children and us and gave us the final approval.  We then had to go by the inspector's office again where Sasha had to meet with another official (who had been away to Kiev) who had to grant final approval for the adoption.  For now, our part is complete, while Sasha will have to go to Ismail to gather the children's official birth certificates and handle other official paperwork between now and the court hearing (likely sometime around the 23rd or 25th - not sure of the date yet.)

One thing that has amazed me about this process is that although many of the processes are computerized, we have had to sign at least 3 times our official signatures, passport information into a handwritten journal!

Natasha's mom hospitality
Since we were free for awhile, rather than spend $60 a day for a small apartment in Bilgorod, we decided to take a train to Donetsk region and then travel to visit Diana's sister's family and her parents who live in a separate house on their property.  We left about 2:30 pm on Thursday on a 16 hour train ride from Odessa to the Donetsk region.  That is, after a 2 hour van ride over bumpy and potholed roads and then another hour after the train ride to Druzhkovka.  I didn't think I was that particularly tall, but try riding/sleeping in a berth meant for people about 3-4 inches shorter than myself!  I may have gotten 6-7 hours a sleep, but unfortunately, none of the hours were consecutive!

Finally sitting in my sister-in-law's house, I have a chance to write a few thoughts.  Being in a foreign land where I am now the foreigner reinforces an idea of how little ultimate control we have.  In our own little corner of the world, we feel we have control over everything in our little realm, but put us into a different corner, we can be totally helpless.  Sometimes I feel that way with God.  If I don't read his Word or pray to him earnestly (which I often fail at), then we might as well be talking different languages.  He may be speaking, but we may not be attuned to it.   It is an uncomfortable position to be in.  On a more human level, it is frustrating not to really be able to talk to my kids and really try to understand them.  I need to go home, get out my Rosetta Stone and learn Russian so I can speak to them.   The same goes for my spiritual Rosetta Stone, the Bible so I can get on the same wavelength again as God.  Nothing like cold reality to slap you in the face!

On a more positive side, I am also reminded of the grace extended to us while we have been here.  While in Bilhorod, we had a chance to meet up with Diana's sister-in-law's mother.  We took a bus out to meet her and she graciously opened her home and provided a nice meal for us.  She and her new husband were a nice Christian family, and even though we couldn't communicate directly, I felt more than welcomed. 

Finally, an unexpected blessing came from the opportunity to stay in my sister-in-law's home.  They have 6 children.  I was welcomed by all, but was surprised about how quickly the  two youngest daughters (7 and 9, I believe) warmed to me.  They seemed to genuinely enjoy having me there, including me in their games, even though I had not seen them in probably three years and having to deal with a language barrier.   Only if we all could come to God with the innocence of children.

Sightseeing, a Personal Journey, and a Few Thoughts

After visiting the kids in the orphanage on Sunday, Sasha took us to see one of the main attractions of Bilhorod-Dnistrovskyi, the old fortress. The city recently celebrated its 2500th anniversary.  It is considered the oldest city in the Ukraine.  Along with Rome and Athens, it is one of the 10 most ancient towns in the world. It is also one of the most better preserved medieval structure in Ukraine.  The walls are over 2 km in length.  Over the years, it passed between Russia and the Ottoman Empire.  The following is a link with further details:   http://discover-ukraine.info/places/southern-ukraine/odesa/177

We are having a great time at the orphanage.  Snizhana and Ilya are beautiful children. Each day is an opportunity to love on these children and receive it in return. Although Ilya is still a little shy, he and his sister seem to get along well together.  Diana asked Snizhana on Sunday if she remembered anything about her parents and I think she said , in effect, "How can you not remember?" and that she would rather remember us instead.  The only thing we know is that neither parent worked, father died at age 43 last year and mother  neglected the children and did not want to take ownership of the children and ended up moving in with a new man. I am not sure what happened in her family or what form of neglect took place, but something no child should have to face.   Snizhana has not wanted to say much about her parents and has taken to us quite well and is so generous with her hugs.  It is a shame that a mother abandoned such lovely children, although it is a blessing to have the opportunity for us to adopt them into our family. 

I know that God has prepared me for this day going back over a long time.   I could have never imagined taking this step many years ago, but now, I cannot even imagine not taking it.  I think God helped grow my love for children through the sports ministries at Colonial Baptist Church.  I dipped my toes in the water by being an assistant coach on Jennifer's 1st and 2nd grade soccer team.  I was a little bit braver the following years as she progressed into 3rd/4th grade by offering to be the head coach.  I chickened out a little because I felt unsure of being able to be effective at coaching at the 3rd/4th grade level and asked to work again at the assistant level.  However, after that, I assumed the responsibility of being the head coach.  When Jennifer started 4th grade, I began coaching her Upward basketball teams and also moving into refereeing the games, usually from morning to evenings.  Each year, I felt myself being drawn more and more into working with these children and feeling as if I was being blessed more and more - probably much more than they ever got from me.  It is not a journey I could have imagined, but God has plans bigger than ours. 

After being here at the orphanage for several days now, we are amazed at how your love seems to multiply and your heart opens up.   We are open up to the possibility that this may not be the end of our adoption process. We want to see where God is leading us in this area and being open to His calling, but we covet your prayers as we try to discern His will.  Being here, your heart opens wider to love even more.

Meeting our kids.

Kiev

Day 2 at Orphanage

Today we were able to see the children twice at the orphanage for about 1 -2 hours at a time.  Snizhana seemed to take to Jennifer immediately as a big sister, while Ilya had gravitated more towards Diana on that first day.  However,  by the end of Friday afternoon, he was reaching to grab my hand with no prompting.  My initial impressions of Ilya from the video that was made of them when they were hosted last summer was that he was a bit introverted.  Compared to his sister, most people would probably be as well!

Diana brought a few elementary school workbooks for them to work on their English skills.  At this point, Snizhana seems a little more advanced in her english.  Hopefully, their adjustment to American schools will not be too difficult for them.

I can certainly empathize with both of them if they have a little trepidation about going to a new land, new school, and dealing with a foreign language.  I certainly feel the frustration of feeling helpless  where the conversations are in a foreign language as well.  It is also a bit frustrating in being able to fully bond with them both, since I cannot have a real conversation due to the language barrier.    Having Diana translate for me is a blessing, but it does limit the ability to freely communicate.  I would love to be able to freely hear their conversations and be an active participant.  It definitely is a challenge!

Arrival at the Orphanage!

The day started quite early today.  We were to leave Kiev at 4:15 am this morning, so it meant having to wake up at 3:30 in the morning to finish packing up our stuff from our apartment in Kiev.  We had an approximately 8 hour car ride to Bilgorod, about an hour or so ride from Odessa. See the map for details:

 http://maps.yahoo.com/#q=Bilhorod-Dnistrovskyi+Raion%2C+Ukraine&conf=1&start=1&lat=47.709761542666385&lon=30.69580078125&zoom=7&mvt=m&trf=0

It was a long ride, but full of anticipation and a little trepidation in not know what to expect, but also excitement in being able to see our children for the first time since last summer.  We met them last summer, but it was only for a brief time and neither we nor the children knew we would eventually reunite.

We arrive at the orphanage around 12:30 pm, but we had to take a detour into Moldova to actually get to Bilgorod.  (There is a large lake separating Bilgorod from Odessa.).  We first had to meet with the inspector for the region and Sasha had to present our referral to her.  We came in and spoke to her briefly and she asked us about our jobs, where we lived, if we had room for two children, whether we lived in apartment or house, etc... She asked us whether we were ready to divide our love with two more children to which I said that it will be multiplied, not divided.

We had to sign our names in a notebook signifying our approval and she came in our van with us to the orphanage.  When we arrived, the inspector went in with the orphanage director, doctor and a couple of other workers in the main office while we waited about 20-30 minutes.  We were eventually ushered in and the director went over Ilya's and Snizhana's backgrounds. Their father died around May or June of last year around age of 43 or 44, and the mother's rights were terminated last year as well.  The mother (age 35-36) was contacted numerous times and never made an effort to see the children or claim them.  She found another man to live with and these children were no longer her priority.  We were told that although the house was in pretty good order, that appeared to be all there was - not enough food, medicine, etc... Neither the mother nor the father were employed.  In the year plus that they have been in the orphanage, not one relative has come to see them.

After about 10 minutes, they showed up behind us and our hearts just skipped a few beats.  It was love at first sight to see these beautiful children.  Snizhana seemed to immediately take to Jennifer and continually held her, while Ilya seemed to take well with Diana, holding her hand.

It is sad that this mother didn't care at all for these precious children.  We are blessed with the opportunity to adopt these children and fill our lives with their love.  We praise God for them!

Ukraine Bound!

We finally made it!   We departed from RDU around 2:30 pm on Monday, although we got a bit of a late start for the airport.  We still had some last minute packing to do, trying to get everything packed into one suitcase apiece and into carry on luggage.  Diana and I shared a suitcase, as one was going to be used primarily for clothing for the other children in the orphanage.

 Friday afternoon, I went to my bank and withdrew $15,000 in hundred dollar bills.  However, when I got home, we were concerned that some of the bills would not be acceptable currency needed for Ukraine.  So, Monday morning I headed back to the Crescent State bank branch in Cary to see if I could exchange money into better bills.  The ladies at the branch on Kildaire Farm Road are the best.  We spent about an hour going through the bills, picking out the best they had.  That is real customer service!!!  I then had to go by the credit union and pick up an additional $4K for additional expenses (gas, travel, etc...).  I had to go to several branches to get what I needed, followed by a trip to a  couple of stores looking for a travel adapter.  I finally get home around 12:30 pm, about the time for us to head to the airport! I was never so glad to see the final bags packed.

We flew to Charlotte, getting in around 3:30 pm.  It was a pretty quick turnaround for our 5 pm flight to Munich, Germany on Lufthansa.  The flight was pretty full and a bit cramped, however the service on board was excellent.  We arrived in Munich around 8 am.  We would have loved to explore Munich, since our flight was at 1:30 pm, but it wasn't enough time in reality to do so.

The final leg of our journey got us into Kiev around 4:15 pm, where Sasha met us and drove us to the apartment where we will be staying the next two days.  Tomorrow, we head to the State Department of Adoptions to register our adoption and pick up the referral the following day.  Please pray that everything goes smoothly!

Thanks for all of the prayers and support each of you have given us.  Can't wait to see the kids!

Fundraisers and Thank You's

I know it has been awhile since I last posted something on our blog.  I want to first thank Missy Roepnack for the beautifully written piece to our blog.  What a blessing to have someone who can write so eloquently and heartfelt on the issue of adoption to advocate for these two beautiful children.  I am glad she is our neighbor in the community sense, but also in the biblical sense.

We have had some wonderful help over the last couple of months with our fundraisers.  Our first fundraiser took place on August 18th with a yard sale.  We were blessed with donations from our Sunday School class and from neighbors.  We ended up making about $168, although we have earned an additional $330 from selling the nicer items on Craigslist.  

On Sunday, August19th, we had our first restaurant fundraiser at Moe's in Cary.  Paul Corbett was a very nice man who fully supported our adoption fundraiser and made up a nice flyer for us to pass along.  We are grateful for our friends who came out and supported this event.  We made about $94 from the percentage of sales.  That's a nice chunk of burritos sold!

August 25th was our big fundraising event with the silent auction from 9 - 2 pm at the Swift Creek Community Center.  We have to especially thank Danny and Sandy Barnes for bidding on many of our items, buying raffle tickets, etc... and for the help Sandy provided during the day.  Ruth Lineberger was also a great help and support of the auction.   Other members of our small group at Sunday School donated items for the auction - Sonny Wilson with the donation of 4 hours of IT support and Joshua and Angela Haddon with the donation of $500 worth of Budget Blinds gift certificates.  Even though we didn't have alot of traffic to the auction, we were able to bring in about $920.  God blessed us with great friends who supported us in an auction that exceeded our expectations. 

After a long day at the auction, we attempted a car wash at the McDonalds, but due to the overcast skies and later starting time, we didn't wash any cars, but did have a kind lady give us $10. The following Saturday, we held a 2nd car wash.  The skies were better and it was extremely warm day.  We did much better, raising $168.  It was uplifting when some came by and just gave us money without the need to wash their car, or donate $10, $12, or even $20.  Chantima Kurepong was a great help by showing up and helping us to wash cars for about an hour to hour and a half.  Otherwise, I thought we did quite well with Diana holding the sign on Walnut Street, while my daughter and I washed the cars.  We finished up at 2 pm, completely worn out from the heat and exhaustion.

On Labor Day thru Wednesday, Sweet Frogs was kind enough to hold a 3 day fundraiser, giving us 10% of all sales generated from mentioning our fundraiser.  $240 was generated from this event, but the owners were gracious enough to round up the amount to $40.  The total sales don't sound like much, but considering the average sale of frozen yogurt is probably $3-$4, it was a good number of people who came to support the event.

Our most recent event was the volleyball fundraiser at N. Cary Park on 9/15.  We had about 18-20 people show up for this.  Although I had hoped for a much larger event (sponsorships, raffle items, etc...), we ended up making about $660 from this, which again, turned out much better than expected.  We know that the prayers for our event and God blessing us abundantly that we made as much as we did.  Chantima again was a great help in encouraging friends and teammates on her volleyball team to come out and form a team to play a little sand volleyball and donate to our cause.  We couldn't have done it without so many people willing to donate $25 (or more)  to come out and play a little volleyball.

Our Adoption Story

Guest post for the Medlin Family from Missy at The Oasis.  

Let's talk about adoption blogs (and those who stalk them).  

There are SOOO many good ones out there...blogs that share the family's journey from application day to "Gotcha Day" in a way that keeps readers absolutely enthralled.  Readers check in every day for a new picture, an update, a gut-wrenching testimony...or a miracle.  And let's be honest.  The stories move us to tears.

But not all of us who are called to adopt have fancy blogs or stories that will make you weep into your keyboard.  At least not at first glance.

But then again, when a Christian family steps up to adopt a child BECAUSE they were adopted by Christ, it should make us all weep regardless of the details.  

It should make us weep with sadness that two children such as these fall asleep every night without a parent to tuck them in.  

That behind the face paint and the balloons, I see the familiar look in their eyes of two children, like mine, who carry the pain of being abandoned in their lives.  

It is a look my children no longer carry.

It is a look very similar to the one that we, as Christians, can recognize in the lost.  

It's the look of the Fatherless.

It should make us weep with grief to hear that this little girl recently wrote home from the orphanage to her new parents and said, 

"I hope you are happy, while we (her and her brother) are not."

It should make us weep with JOY that these two children from Ukraine are coming HOME to parents who love them so much already, that they have practically physically exhausted themselves trying to raise the funds needed to do so.  

...Parents whom I have watched wash cars, sell frozen yogurt, host volleyball tournaments, and humbly rally neighbors and the church to get behind them.  

...Parents who do not have a well-stalked adoption blog.  

...Parents who still have a beautiful story to tell.  

Diana Medlin grew up in the Ukraine with 8 brothers and sisters.  Stuart and Diana have dreamed of a large family, and have a heart to minister to orphans.  They have been involved with orphan hosting programs, and in one moment at a picnic, Stuart and Diana collided with their very own children, who were being hosted by another family here in the states, without even knowing it.  

They watched Snizhana eat Cheetos off another child's plate. Then they went home and went back to their daily lives, and Snizhana and Illya flew back to a Ukrainian orphanage.  

Stuart and Diana had talked about adoption, but after both parents felt called to adopt a different gender, they shelved the idea until they could agree.  

They were never going to agree.  They were both being called correctly.  And they had already met their children.

About 6 months later, Stuart saw Snizhana and Illya pop up on a Facebook post from the original hosting family who was looking for a family to adopt them.  

In Stuart's own words, "I believe this was God’s providence in action.  We have not known Elisa that long as she was the first person we met when we started playing volleyball at Hope Community Church on Sunday nights.  When I saw that a brother and sister was available for adoption, my wife and I felt this was the right situation and where God was directing us to adopt.  With my wife being from Ukraine, we felt we could provide them a good home and an easier transition to this country."

I have to agree with Stuart.  This was God's providence in action. 

Let's trace it backwards.  Let's go back to the Facebook post, back to the picnic, back to the volleyball league, back to meeting Elisa... and back even futher, to the day that a baby named Diana was born into a large family in the Ukraine and then grew up to be placed in a position to be a bridge for these orphaned children to come Home.  

Let's take a moment to recognize that the God we worship is The Master Craftsman, and that even when we do not have the eyes to see it, He is always building a masterpiece.  

And that every story that involves an act so highly symbolic of our own Salvation is beautiful.

I am guesting here today to ask my readers to come behind the Medlins, who happens to live around the corner from me and attend the same church.  Our church's adoptive community is growing, and it includes families who foster children, adopt domestically, adopt special needs children internationally, adopt HIV+ children, adopt more than once, encourage orphan hosting programs, child sponsorship programs, and more.  

All of these efforts need the support of the Body of believers, as we strive to bring glory to His name and demonstrate our own "adoption to sonship" within a tangible testimony. 

I am asking you to help how you may feel called.  I am not going to ask you each to give any specific amount, I am going to ask you each to give as God moves your heart to do.  The ChipIn button on the top right-hand corner of this blog makes donating through Paypal easy, or by using the Redline button to make a tax-deductible donation and designating "Illya/Snizhana" in step 2.  

I am asking you to reach out to this family and show your support when they come home in October.  I can tell you from a not-so-distant memory of my own adoption homecoming that physical, emotional, and spiritual support is needed.  

I can tell you that transitions are hard, and that a warm meal set on the doorstep sometimes allowed my family to eat while this Mom was hard at work trying to slay the dragon that is known as "Attachment".  

I encourage anyone who wishes to support the Medlin family, or any adoptive family, to read this pamphlet from Focus on the Family (free to download), and pray about how you might feel led to step up and support our newest little neighbors and congregants. 

And lastly, I ask you all to pray; because the God we serve is bigger than any obstacle that stands between these children and home.  

Praise Him for His providence.

Blessings,

Missy

www.roepnack.blogspot.com

Adoption Thoughts

We have reached a midpoint in the adoption process.  I have gathered the last remaining forms together, notarized the immigration letter received, and sorted the forms ready for the apostilling process.  Once this is done, it is now a matter of Fed-Ex'ing everything to Ukraine. 

The last few days have been a bit of a challenge to my faith.  I have stressed out quite a bit with the adoption process and worrying about how to raise the money to pay for everything. I have wondered how to find the time and ability to coordinate the various ideas I have and finding the extra hands to accomplish it.  It is hard sometimes to let go and let God, esp. when you are so used to depending on yourself to do the necessary tasks.  Maybe God needs to stretch my faith a little (maybe a lot!).

I pray that God will use my meager talents and multiply them for his glory.  That is all I can ask!

Final Forms for Dossier Received

Yesterday, I contacted the mortgage broker who did my refinance and they gladly handle the Proof of Residence form.  When I got home, the copies of the marriage licenses and the SBI letters were waiting for me in the mailbox.  Now, I have to gather everything together and have them apostilled with the Sec of State's office.

I171-H Form received from USCIS!

In the mail today (Friday), we finally received the much-anticipated immigration form approving our adoption!  Now, we have to wait on receiving the SBI report on our fingerprints we submitted and getting the two certified copies of our marriage license from Orange County.

I have one last form to redo, the Proof of Home Residence form.  I had initially taken it to the State Employees Credit Union for a bank officer to sign and then have notarized.  I was able to get the information copied to credit union letterhead, but the individual was being a bit hard-nosed about it and wouldn't sign it. The form only acknowledged what our mortgage payment was each month and how big the house is. I had a copy of the mortgage statement, but that didn't make a difference to him.

Pulling together the Ukraine Dossier forms

We recently got the forms for the dossier for Ukraine to fill out from David.  There were about 30 pages of forms to fill out and have notarized including the following:

1. Proof of Residence statement
2. Federal 1040 form Authentification statement (including first page of form 1040)
3. Application to Adopt
4. Known Child Application to Adopt
5. Limited Power of Attorney (4 copies)
6. Passport excerpts (page with the photo + page with the barscan), 3 copies each of Diana and I.
7. Parental Responsibility  for Registration Form
8.  Interpol European Background check
9.  Power of Attorney for Wife travelling 2nd trip
10. Power of Attorney for Husband, travelling 2nd trip
11. Letter consenting for inclusion in the SDA's database.

Still needed to be done:

1.   Send in the Home Study (2 copies) and 2 copies of their license
2.  Two certified copies of marriage license
3.  State Police clearance for Diana and I.
4. USCIS Approval Letter Authentication Statement (the one waiting on).
 
We will have to wait for the SBI background checks to come back.  We had to get fingerprinted and send out a request to do the background checks.  We had to do the county background checks for the homestudy, but we have to do the state checks for Ukraine.

Bringing the Children Early???

Just received email from David.  He suggested bringing Ilya and Snizhana over in the hosting group from 7/20 - 8/13.  His concern is of the risk factor that our dossier will not be in the Ukraine soon enough.  According to David, our travel date may not be until mid to late September.  However, the costs are estimated to be $3K per child (including flight costs).    The expenses are already sizable and this is another unexpected expense and not sure how to raise all this money.  Please pray for this situation and that God will provide the means.

I-600 Forms received + Fingerprints

Several days ago, we received the acknowledgement that our forms were received by Dept of Homeland Security (Immigration Services) with an appointment date of 7/2 to have the fingerprinting done.  David Avilla suggested that it is not necessary to show up on the appointment date, but go as soon as possible.  We tried going yesterday afternoon (June 19th) to Durham to have this done. We showed up at 3:50 pm, but unfortunately, they were no longer doing appointments for the day.

Today, we left around 7:00 am to be at the immigration office before it opened at 8 am.  We were able to get the fingerprints done by 8:30 without any problem.

Possible Complications

Yesterday, at lunchtime I was in the process of doing the final assembling of the immigration documents to submit to the immigration office in Texas.  I received an email from David suggesting to hold off on submitting the forms due to a slight change that might be needed on the forms.  When I got home, a 2nd email from David suggested that we change our home study to open up adoption to possibly younger kids.

The problem is that our two kids are expected off the adoption registry sometime in July.  There is the concern that the children could be presented by the SDA to another family (unknown at this time, but a possibility). 

After sending in the immigration forms, final approval could come within 4-5 weeks.  Four days needed to get apostilled and delivered to Ukraine and 3-4 more days to prepare and submit the dossier.  After that, it appears it would take 6-7 weeks to get the opportunity to travel.   There is a period of exposure from the time we would be able to travel and when they could be available for adoption.

Definitely a need for prayer and to rely on God when things are out of your control, which I believe is what God wants from us anyway.  Ultimately, God wants our trust and reliance on him.

Final Copy of Home Study Received

Today, we received the 4 notarized copies of the preplacement adoption assessment, along with a copy of Nathanson's license.  On Thursday, David sent us the filled out I-600 forms that needed our signature.  All that is left to do is to get a copy of the marriage license, copies of our passport photos, and a photocopy of Nathanson's agency license.  I feel like I am copying the same forms over and over again :) 

As much as the paperwork can be a cause of headaches, it ultimately is for a good cause:  the adoption of Ilya and Snezhana.

Preplacement Assessment Completed!

Today, we received the draft of the preplacement assessment from our home study.  I was pleasantly surprised at receiving this after less than a week after our 3rd interview with the social worker.   Now, it is a matter of doing a final review, along with our adoption coordinator. 

Final Home Study Visit

Diana and I went to the library in Morrisville for our 3rd and final home study visit.  This was a fairly quick visit as Liz, our social worker, clarified a few more questions and took up our documentation:  home study medical forms, 2011 tax form, financial disclosure sheet, copies of each of our birth certificates, marriage license, criminal record checks, etc...

I anticipated that gathering all of the forms would be the most tedious of all of the tasks, but ultimately, paled in comparison to getting the final medical forms from the doctor's office.

Now, we wait for Nathanson's to review and approve our home study.

Before the Final Visit...

So far, we have had the first two visits that have gone smoothly with our social worker, interviewing the three of us and taking a tour of the house.

The third and final visit involves collecting the various forms and records.  We have had to assemble the following:

1. Original birth certificates
2. Marriage certificate
3. Our 2011 tax form
4. Three letters of reference
5. Medical exams + TB and AIDS tests
6. Child abuse clearances
7.  Criminal Record checks
8.  Separate Medical reports for the Home Study
9.  Financial worksheet
10. Guardianship.

Medical Forms, Part 2

I receive notice from the doctor's office that the forms have been redone.  Diana calls up the office to verify that the forms have been completed correctly and discovers that they are missing the most important forms that have to be completed first - the medical forms for the home study. 

I call the doctor's office and Dr. Richards will not be able to complete them on Friday.  I email his assistant and him the medical forms for the home study so he will have a chance to have everything completed before our final home study visit on Tuesday afternoon.

Medical Forms Update

Today, I sent the home study medical forms for Diana and I for Dr. Richards at Lifesigns of Raleigh to fill out.  It has been 3 weeks since David Avilla has contacted the doctor's office to have them redo the forms for Ukraine that have to done in a specific manner (notarized with no extra notations, white outs, corrections, etc...).  The home study forms are relatively painless in comparison.

Home Visit #2

The second home visit by our social worker was to interview Diana and Jennifer.  Liz was already at our home when I returned from coaching soccer.  She had an opportunity to ask about Diana's childhood in Ukraine, her family, and her current hobbies and interests.  Liz then spent time talking with Jennifer asking about her thoughts of adopting and welcoming the possibility of 2 new siblings (hopefully!)

Home Study Visit #1

Liz Railton, our social worker, came to our home to interview me first.  She spent about 30-45 minutes asking me questions about my childhood, family members, and current work and social activities.  She then took a tour of our home

Application to Begin Home Study

Today, we filled out the application form for Nathanson's Adoption Services to do our home study.  We had a choice of either going with Nathanson's or Levacy Smith.  Levacy had cheaper fees, but it would have likely have been a little more expensive since it would involve having to pay a social worker mileage expenses to come from Charlotte.  Nathanson (based in Charlotte) had a social worker in Cary that could be assigned to our case.

The costs: 
        $1,450  -   Standard processing (8-11 weeks)
             300  -   Expedited processing (1-2 weeks)
             200  -   Document fee for Eastern European adoptions.

We ultimately decided to pay the expedited processing fee to get the process completed faster.  On Saturday, the check will be in the mail to Charlotte to start the home study process!

Medical Tests and Medical Forms

On Tuesday, I head over to Lifesigns of Raleigh for my TB and AIDS testing.  I had previously had my physical back in January, so there was no need for me to have another one done.  This was necessary for the Ukrainian government.  I returned today (Friday) for the results of the test and to pick up the signed and notarized medical forms.

 I forwarded the forms to David Avilla (Stork Adoptions) to see if they were complete.  Unfortunately, he stated that the county on the notary block had been crossed out and additional handwritten information had been written in regarding the TB tests.  He will have to contact the doctor's office on my behalf to explain exactly what needs to be done.

Start of Our Adoption Journey!

Our adoption story began last July where we met two kids, Ilya and Snezhana at a picnic sponsored by Hope Community Church and Redline United for the kids from the Ukraine and for the host families.  We had not made a firm decision in regard to adoption, but came out to visit the kids and meet some of the ones who were likely not going to be adopted by their host families.

We met Snezhana that day, but did not realize that she would be the one we would decide to adopt, along with her brother.  My wife, Diana, recalled an incident that day when we sat down and talked with her and one of her friends.  Snezhana was taking the cheese curls off her friend's plate, while her friend would do the same from her plate.  

We left that Sunday afternoon still unsure about our adoption plans.  I initially desired to adopt a girl, while Diana wanted to adopt a boy.  Little did we realize at the time how God was working to bring an answer to our dilemma.

God makes his will known

After meeting Snezhana and Ilya in July of 2011, adoption had been placed on the back burner.  In what can only be described as God's divine providence,  I was scanning Facebook on  January 26th.  A friend of ours, Elisa Sisterhen had reposted a Facebook note about these 2 Ukrainian orphans that she and her husband Derek had hosted over the summer and was hoping someone would be willing to adopt them. I did not see this note when it was first posted on August 4th of last year, but this time, God intended for these 2 kids to touch our lives.

I showed Diana the note and we both decided that we should start the process of adopting this brother and sister.